O.K., normally I don't make New Year's Resolutions. They are the ultimate pitful of failure. Every resolution I've made in the past umm...23..? 33..? O.K., awright, 43 years has failed miserably. I try to be a sport about it, but after failing like that for so many damn years, well, your sense of getting it right, just dies. So, why bother?
But, this year I've made the commitment to do what I'm resolutely planning on doing! No, it's not losing those 5..? 10..? 12..? O.K. awright, 15 pounds that crept up on me after losing my job in October. Yeh, staying home is definitely a weight-gainer! But, losing my job has also been the incentive I needed to make my resolution take its steps to becoming a reality.
As some of you know, when I lost my job, in October (my position was eliminated, which in layman's terms means, You're fired!) I thought I would go ahead with the business of being a childcare provider. A goal that I looked forward to. I love children and I love helping them grow and develop. I was sooo excited about this, but unfortunately I guess it wasn't meant to be. I received no calls or inquiries, even after advertising steadily for several months. Not one! I was so disappointed. What was I going to do now? Money was running low, Christmas was coming and bills were going unpaid and I DID NOT want to go back to working full-time as a sandwich slinger, in a deli (this is the position I was in before it was eliminated).
I also didn't want to go back to work full-time, b/c my son was doing so much better in school now that he was coming home each night after school. And because I wasn't waking him up at 5am to get him off to daycare, in time for me to be to work at 6:30 am, he was less cranky and more rested than before (which I'm sure attributed to his hostility at school). You see, previously, when I was working, his entire attitude in school had been agressively hostile or completely lackadaisical. Not at all like the little boy I see everyday now. I truly believe that my being here for him every morning and every evening has made the change in him. He knows he's going to be able to come home every afternoon and that I'm going to be here for him. Children need a sense of security, I suppose, and my being home has seemingly restored that security in him, and the change in him has been a positive one. It's a change I want to keep.
So, a part-time job is what I needed to be looking for, and after weeks of searching for one that has mother's hours (jobs other than MickeyD's) I finally found one. Now, each morning before I go off to work, I put my son on the bus and then head out to work. I'm done with my work, usually around 1, so I'm able to be home before he gets off the school bus at 3. The only drawback is my financial situation is still bleak. But, as the days go by and I'm finding that I have an hour or two on my hands each day, I've been able to get back into the habit of writing and have been able to finish the manuscript for my next book.
That's my New Year's Resolution. To totally complete my manuscript and begin the process of finding an agent and a publisher. The first draft of my book is completely finished and I'm now beginning the scary search of finding an agent. I'm really anxious about this too. I don't know what to expect and the fact that I now have to part with my youngest baby (I've been working on this book, for what seems like forever) and put her in the hands of someone who might think her best home is at the bottom of the slush pile, well, that kind of rejection scares the shit out of me! But, I suppose the only way to see if my baby will float is to send her out in the ship.
Here's to trying not to bail and seeing if she'll swim!
Just like the Dory quote in my previous post...
'Just keep swimming...just keep swimming...'
~~~Subject change~~~~
Ohmygawd, it's finally snowing! The white Christmas we all wanted so badly is now happening. A little late, but my son is thrilled anyway, now we can finally go sledding! Yes, I sled down the hills too. AND make the long trek back up the hill as well. All in the name of cruising back down and having fun with my little guy.
See ya at the bottom of the hill!
~~~~Update~~~~~
We got about 4 inches of snow, the fluffy white stuff. Not so great for making snowmen or much to Little Guy's disappointment, to make snowballs to pelt at mom, when her back is turned.
But, it was perfect for sledding. I was exhausted after two and a half times of sledding down and trudging back up the hill (you put on some heavyweight snowpants over your jeans and thermal undies and see how fast you hike up a hill). But, it was a lovely afternoon anyway. And the hot chocolate piled high with marshmallows and a spoonful of fluff, after coming back inside, was especially nice for taking the red outta our cheeks and putting the warmth back into our bellies. I only hope this good feeling about the snow lasts for more than a week, considering we've got another three months of it. Nah, it probably won't, but at least we had today!
