I went to rent a movie the other day and was asked what my favorite movie was. Standing there amongst the racks of videos, I looked around, and gave it some serious thought. I realized that there was no way I could actually say I had only one favorite. I’ve enjoyed so many (and hated just as many as well) that it'd be hard to choose just one.

Before I met my husband though, I was lucky if I saw one movie a week. I was just never into watching movies (or television for that matter). I’ve always preferred to read. But my husband is...big-time...and by association I now watch more movies than I ever did. His library of movies is so big I once suggested we could make extra money by renting out his movies; because he had as many as the small general store in town (maybe more). He wasn’t as enthusiastic about that as I was.

His favorite movies tend to lean towards action/adventure, sci-fi, war and the occasional horror movie. I’m partial to dramas, comedies and the occasional chick-flick. So, naturally his library is way bigger than mine, in fact mine is so small I can actually list the movies in my collection. Here they are: Almost Famous, The Doors, Mask, Mystic Pizza, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Forest Gump, Big Trouble in Little China, Elizabeth, Pulp Fiction/Get Shorty/Be Cool and too many exercise/yoga/aerobic videos to list (which, unfortunately, have so much dust on them you can barely see the covers).

But, if I did have to pick, I’d have to choose Scent of a Woman, Chocolat and Mask. Why these? Well, Scent of a Woman stars Al Pacino, what other reason is there? He’s been my all-time fav actor since The Godfather. Nobody does tough guy as well as him. Although he played a blind man in Scent of a Woman, he was still tough as nails with a no-fooling around attitude. He also showed his sensitive side when he hit the dance floor and Tango-ed with the neglected young lady at the next table. Chocolat because it’s every woman’s fantasy rolled into one. A gypsy scoundrel played by Johnny Depp, who romances a woman who owns a chocolate shop. Depp + Chocolate + Independent Business Woman = great movie. And Mask, because Cher is absolutely perfect in this part. She plays cool, hot biker chick with an unexpected soft side better than anyone on the planet. She was made for that part. And Sam Elliot as her only one true love is also perfectly cast. The movie is full of heart, love, and unexpected kindness. Although her son has a disability, the fact that he’s the strong one in the family is beautifully played out.

I’m pretty sure none of my favs would land at the top my husband’s fav list, he’d probably wrinkle up his nose at my choices and say, “ugh, chick flicks.” But, he’d be happy to learn that I do have an action/adventure fav. Heat starring Al Pacino (told you he was one of my all-time favs) and the other ultimate tough guy, Robert Deniro. Putting these two actors in a movie was a stroke of pure genius by some great casting director. Watching them play cat and mouse against one another was the best.

Think I’ll go watch a movie.

I recently spent some time with an old friend who found herself suddenly single after years of marriage. While visiting she confessed to me that she was terrified of having to rejoin the singles scene. She was long out of practice in the dance of dating, the subtleties of flirting or even the importance of eye contact and a smile. When she asked for my advice on how to go about dating, I was shocked. Me? I've been married so long I don't think my husband would even notice if I was wearing my shirt backwards, much less if I was trying to make flirty eye contact.

My friend held up the book I'd written over three years ago, "I ask because you write such nice stuff about love and I thought you'd be more in the know on the ins and outs of dating."

Ahhh...I thought, she's been reading my fiction disguised as real life book. "Well," I told her, "it's cool that you read my book, but not every word of what's in there is real.

"Really? But it all seems so real."

"It is," I told her, "some of it anyway. The rest is kind of real...in an unrealistic kind of way."

"Then where do you get your inspiration?" she wanted to know.

I had to think about that one; where does my inspiration come from?

"When I write, I try not to think about the dirty clothes piling up, the nasty dishes collecting in the sink or being the complaint department for everything that goes wrong in everyone else's lives. I think about the past...past love, past happiness and what makes me happy today. The things that aren't a part of the mundane routine of living."

"What if you can't remember how love used to be?" she said.

"Then go to the mall and watch the kids, especially those that seem to be in love. They're the ones who have a handle on what being in love should be like. They hold hands, snuggle and can't keep their hands off of one another. They look at one another when they talk and they're focused totally on each other...not the things around them. Those are the kinds of things I think about when I write about love. I imagine the couple being so intent on the other person that they forget everything and everyone around them. I think that's what's wrong in a lot of marriages these days, couples are so worried about fulfilling the needs of others that they've forgotten the needs of one another."

"That's great and all, Deb, but how's that going to help me get a date?"

All I could do was shrug, "maybe when you meet somebody how about being like a teenager and focus completely on the person in front of you? Not complain about your ex, your ungrateful kids or your lousy job. How about finding out what your date likes? More than likely they'll do the same for you, and if they don't and instead they go on and on about their ex, ungrateful kids or their lousy job...then my advice would be to move on."

My friend was less than impressed with my profound words, "um...that's not exactly what I was looking for from you. I wanted something more like a 1 2 3 step by step instruction guide. All you gave me were generalizations."

I shrugged again, "sorry...I write fiction. A real love story is rarely about real life, it's usually about which one of you can tell the best stories in order to keep the other one from getting mad."

She threw the book at me.

From People magazine Dec. 3, 2007. Matt Damon is named Sexiest Man Alive. C’mon, Matt Damon? There are way more worthy men out there than Matt Damon. And not just ones with movie star looks either. What constitutes a sexiest man alive anyway? Is it a chiseled chin, six-pack abs, dimples, smoldering dark eyes (or blue bedroom eyes)? That’s what these magazines seem to think makes a man worthy. But I beg to differ, shouldn’t he be more than just a smoking’ hot body and a headful of McDreamy hair? Shouldn’t he also be an asset to us females other than just being drool-worthy?

I mean when I think of sexiest man alive, movie or television actors, singers or writers don’t even enter my mind. I think about the guys we women see every single day. The guys we smile at or thank for their helpfulness and thoughtfulness. The ones who make our lives a little easier.

Here’s my top 4 guys who should definitely make a sexy list.

1) The man you married. The father of your children. The man who puts up with your crabbiness and comes back for more each night. The guy who rubs your feet, kills spiders for you, untangles the Christmas tree lights or cleans the snow off your car for you. He should get your #1 vote for Sexiest Man Alive.

2) Coming in second…your mechanic. I mean, really, this man should be given a medal. He keeps you rolling, keeps you moving, keeps the wheels greased and the engine lubricated. Without our mechanics we’d be stuck in our houses every day watching daytime television and actually believing that Oprah cares about us. Our mechanic keeps us sane by giving us the security of reliable transportation.

3) The guys at Home Depot. C’mon what’s sexier than an orange apron, Levi jeans and work boots? Plus those guys know what we mean when we say, “I need that thingamajig that goes on the toilet that keeps…you know…things from leaking out all over the floor.” And when we ask questions like, “how many square feet am I going to need in my living room?” They don’t roll their eyes and get all patronizing, they simply smile and say, "I can help you with that."

4) And my final Sexiest Man Alive. The grocery store stockman. Who else knows exactly where to find that last perfect ingredient to your world famous chili? This is especially useful in today’s mega-gi-normous grocery superstores; where everything can be found...except what you’re looking for. These stockmen are the true gods of these multiplexes. This is their domain, they’re home court and it’s their mission to show off their stock knowing prowess. Their speed and confidence as they lead us through the maze of over-stocked and under-priced wares is nothing less than mind-boggling. This kind of knowledge is far above sexy, it’s astonishing. This in
itself garners them a place on my Sexiest Man Alive list.

Whose on your Sexiest Man Alive list?

Valentine's Day is on my mind. Not because it's such a big deal (truly I'm not all that impressed with hearts and flowers and chocolates) but probably because I work in retail and we've been putting the stuff out since the day after Christmas. Even now, when we've just gotten Valentine's all set, Easter candy, eggs and toys are coming in. It never ends. But, after perusing the shelves (actually stocking them) I've come to the conclusion that I don't want any of the stuff sitting on those shelves. That I would prefer my sweetie to indulge me in things other than chocolate, overstuffed animals, singing frogs or dancing chickens. No, I don't want any 'love coupons', heart boxers, heart socks, heart jewelry or heart t-shirts. I don't even need a mush card or the dreaded so-called 'joke/love' card.

Give me what a woman really wants. A girl's night out...away from the house, the kids, the seriousness of home. Hand me some cash, promise to watch our son, and wave good-bye to me, with a smile on your face, as me and my friends hightail it to the nearest restaurant for eats and drinks.

Give me a gift card to my favorite places; Border's, Bath and Body, Victoria's Secret (a bonus for you as well), JC Penny or Wilson's Leather. These all top my list of places I'd happily waste a day.

Here's a few more suggestions for that day of love that will actually include both of us. Let's go to Home Depot and buy the things we need to finish those projects around the house, you know the ones that've been lying around since the dawn of time, and we'll do them together. I promise not to 'instruct' you on how to do them or 'gently remind' you that you might be doing them wrong. I want to get these things finished too. So, I'll just hand you the tools and muzzle myself. Then after you leave for work, and depending on how well the project was done, I'll either rave or crab about your handiwork to all who will listen.

Another couples thing we could do; clean out the basement..yay doesn't that sound like fun! I mean c'mon how great will it be to shovel through the doodads and whatzits that roll around on the concrete floor and sift through the keepers and throw-aways? Maybe even after we've cleared through your stuff we might have room for more of my doodads and whatzits, which of course can never be thrown away!

And our last project together; how about a home-cooked meal with all the fixins', even a homemade dessert? I'll make the grocery list, you do the shopping. I'll read you the recipes, while you cook it up. I'll set the table, so you can bring the food over. I'll even drink the wine, after you've poured it. See how well we work together? Happy Valentine's Day!

I can't even freakin' believe this...it's snowing like hell right now. Has been since 6am. Not that I fear the white stuff (I've been through enough Maine winters to know it's gonna snow in Jan. in Maine) but we've had it pretty easy the last couple of years and I guess I wasn't mentally prepared for it this year.

And the cost of plowing...dang! I swear I'll be keeping my plow guy in beer and cigarettes the entire winter. I might even have to give him my son to pay off my debt.

And just what are we supposed to do for the next two months? Already I'm sick of staying inside and watching t.v. I used to enjoy the winter months, when my son wanted to do stuff with me. But, he's older now and is more interested in video games and movies. What's a mom to do?