I recently spent a few hours in a store and although I wasn't shopping for me, I did come across some things that made me wish I'd had a few extra bucks to spend. Things that would have been the perfect item to say all the things I'd like to say to people, but never have the guts to.

Along one wall of this store were some hanging wooden signs with clever sayings printed on each of them. I enjoyed all of them and would've loved to place them in strategic places in my life. For example:

- Let me drop everything and work on your problem: this would go to my kids when I'm right in the middle of something, like painting a wall, and they decide they have something way more important for me to take care of...immediately.

- I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every second of it: which I do, keeps everyone on their toes when they don't what I'm going to do at any given moment.

- My door is always open, so feel free to leave: if I could only say that to the people who want my opinion or advice.

- Talk is cheap, because supply exceeds demand: OMG, how many people yammer on and on without saying a single thing? (myself excluded, of course).

- Happy Wife, Happy Life: need I say anything else?

- There are three types of people: those who get it and those who don't: I'd like to throw this one at the person who never seems to 'get' it and I have to explain it over and over.

- Buy one for the price of two and get the second one free: applies to the same person as the above.

- Beer- helping ugly people to find love since 1859: this one goes to barflies who think a great come-on is, "Hey baby, what's your sign?"

-If you're one in a million, there are six thousand just like you: for the person who truly believes what he says is always right.

- I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like you're here: In-laws?

- Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world: doesn't everyone have a Spock wannabe in their lives?

- Experience is a wonderful thing, it enables us to recognize a mistake when we make it again: except, of course, that person who never makes a mistake.

- There's too much blood in my caffeine system: every single working person in the entire U.S.A.

- Don't make me get my flying monkeys: this one isn't for anyone really, it just made me smile.

So, from now on I'm keeping a pocketful of flashcards with clever sayings on them and showing the proper response to the people who deserve 'em.